Seldomly asked questions

Who are you, and what is all this?

I'm an asshole with a keyboard, and this is a website that features stuff I write.

Can you describe your writing?

In a word...nonsensical? Usually it's funny, sometimes it's not, but it's always shit that's rattling around in my brain that, if I don't externalize, drives me crazy. Basically, it's a cheap therapy session for me. There's a lot of dick jokes, too.

What does Arm Side Fun mean?

It’s a baseball adjacent term. "Arm side run" is when a pitch, typically a fastball, has quite a bit of movement towards the arm side of the pitcher (i.e. towards a right-handed hitter if thrown by a right-handed pitcher). I was a pitcher in another life, and my ball moved quite a bit. The word "fun" rhymes with "run", and potentially indicates the wacky times we’ll have around here. It’s a pun, which is lazy writing, but as you’ll see that’s definitely my lane.

So this is about baseball?

Sometimes, certainly. It’s also about Dallas/Fort Worth sports teams, music, addiction/recovery, coaching/teaching, depression/anxiety, fatherhood, auto-erotic asphyxiation humor, food, and wrestling. And other shit.

Auto-erotic asphyxiation humor? Are you 15?

No, I’m 42. Hey, real quick, what’s the worst part about rubbing one out? Having to explain to everyone in your life why, once again, you're wearing a turtleneck.

Wanna provide a quick bio?

A few broad strokes: I’m from a small town near Fort Worth, Texas, the type of place where folks jerk off to "The Turner Diaries"; I used to teach/coach at the high school level, but now I don’t; I’m an opiate/opioid addict (two years sober as of 4/22/24); I'm married with two kids (son is 9, daughter is 6); I really enjoy the New York Times games app, specifically Wordle, Connections, Strands, Spelling Bee, and the crossword; and am almost certainly better in the kitchen than you are. Most everything else will reveal itself in time.

How often you doing this?

Whenever the combination of inspiration striking and Prozac hitting just right occurs. Once a week, most likely.

For some reason I seem to enjoy your inane and sophomoric ramblings. Is there an archive?

Yes. It's right here.

So, GoDaddy, huh? Bold play.

Well, I was looking for an over-priced hosting platform with a terribly designed interface and counterintuitive controls, and I'll be goddamned if I didn't hit the jackpot.

Anything else?

Nope, not for now. Enjoy, and don't be an asshole.