August 28th, 2024
Good day, folks. No new writing today, as my responsibilities as an employee, father, and husband are selfishly keeping me from writing about the sexploits of Hugh Freeze and Mike Price, but I promise an in-depth look at the most hilarious college football scandals of all-time very soon.
In the interim, how about another round of Story Time?
Methinks you'll like this one, folks.
I also have something a little different today.
My buddy Paul, a longtime friend and one of my favorite dudes to hang out with, sent me the adjacent picture recently, thinking it would make good fodder for an ArmSideFun post. He was right, but it took me a second to figure out how to use it. Since "Fingerville" and "Poundtown" are real names of cities, I decided to make my own city limit signs, using only actual town names in the United States. I also left in "The Last Stop Before" text from the original image.
I'm not too proud to say that I spent well over two hours coming up with these, and hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed creating them. As you'll see, they're not all gold medalists, but there are a couple gems below.
Let's start with an easy one.
The fancier the gap, the bigger the load. That's just science.
Foreplay, folks. The bedrock of any successful trip to Love Lake.
The inspiration for this sign: I had a girl tell me once she had "whiskey puss," and that we'd have to postpone our coupling until later. Any woman that uses that phrase is a keeper, and I'd have married her...had she not been married at the time.
This one kinda sucks, but when I discovered there was a town names Scissors, I had to mix it in.
Pretty self-explanatory. And pretty dumb. Made me chuckle, though.
If she's a keeper, that is.
Allegedly.
That's all for today, folks. I hope you enjoy Timmy's Story Time, and the shoddily Photoshopped city signs.
I'm out. Don't be an asshole.